August 5th I turned 30 years old. My dirty thirty…Wait what?
Dirty thirty?
Why is it dirty?
Sorry, my newfound ADHD is kicking in and I digress before I even start!
HA!
Any who, I’m 30 and I have had a lot of weird questions surrounding this milestone in my life. “Did you cry?” “Are you sad?”, “When are you having children?” Ok No, No, and last but not least do you ask men on their 30th birthday when they are going to have children? That’s a big fat no, which means you shouldn’t ask women that question either #feminism
Off topic again, so let me get back to the point of this post. Why is 30 a bad thing? When did surviving 30 years in this crazy world with out killing myself or someone else become a negative milestone? I feel like it should be
C-o-n-g-r-a-t-u-l-a-t-i-o-n-s *Post Malone voice*
But seriously, 30 years is an achievement and if you are female don’t research why it’s a dirty 30, you will be disappointed (but you are curious aren’t you!?- Google it tell me your thoughts in the comments)
I have been waiting for this time in my life, for my entire life.
Childhood 👎
Teenage years SUCKED
Twenties SUCKED
Do you see a pattern? I’ve been working through the “suck” for the past 30 years! I’ve been knocking out my goals to get to this place in my life so I’m STOKED for my thirties.
I have removed barriers that held me back and I know with full confidence I am who I need to be for me. I can provide myself anything I need, create stability and peace.
Here I stand, atop my goals and I look back and see all of the hard work it took to get here and it feels really amazing. I highly suggest making a list so you can celebrate your hard work! For me:
House✔
Job✔
Soul Mate✔
College Degree✔
Continuing education- I start my MBA 09/01so ✔
Baby Basically a ✔ 4 cats and a dog so our house is full of LOVE
Business owner✔
So I met all of my goals with in my control so WHAT DO I DO NOW? If there is anything scary about this 30 milestone for me it is needing new goals!
I have decided that my new goal is me. Being the best me, the most authentic me. Giving the best of myself to the universe and letting it take me. I’m going to sit down, buckle up and wait for the awesomeness that is all around to absorb me!
Now these goals and new me are great, but it also takes a village of support. I have some awesome people in my life who have been with me through thick and thin. Friends and family throughout my journey have supported me and continue to support me in my growth. Bosses, co workers, mentors, listening to others experiences, my own experiences have all guided me to who I am today and they will also help me get better! I also want to be the best me, so I can be a better friend, wife, sister, and just be a good human doing my best during my time on this enormous rock twirling in space.
Authenticity is a quality that I value highly but have always had a hard time finding exactly how to be authentic when im also excessively indecisive. Sometimes I stop and think, wait, who am I?, this is not who I want to be …..so I stop, evaluate what I want to change and I change it. But its not always easy to identify, accept or change.
How can one stay authentic?
For me, it’s having the conversation with people who are close to me and being open to making changes, but having grounding enough to only make changes that make sense for me. There is no right and wrong with this folks, this is a journey.
People change, relationships change, love shifts, there is no one path. We are all winging this thing called life. My boss said it best a few weeks ago inn relation to a miscommunication we had “we are just humans being humans ” and there is something beautiful on that simple truth. Our government, economy, media …all of these theories, sciences, disciplines, we made them up. Remember that. Our brain makes color, we as humans made up the concept of race, there is no race in biology and biology is really real stuff here people. If that doesn’t give you some form of comfort, ask yourself what your looking for. I know for me personally, I am looking for the authentic me. Taking stock in what I truly believe in, what my passions are, and making sure I insert those things into my everyday life. Life is what you make it. You are who you make yourself.
Experiences can and do shape us, but I also strongly believe that if you want to be something you can be it, all you need to do is manifest that it will be, work hard and don’t loose sight of your goals. When you achieve your goals, always make new goals, and invest in yourself. I can say I have spent way too much of my life just treading water, putting myself second, or even worst putting myself last and that changes now. This kind of journey is never done. Just like living with mental illness, addiction or conflict of any kind. We have to work everyday, we will reciprocate the energy we surround ourselves with so Love yourself and Love each other. My new goals are being authentic, being happy, being at peace and working on being a better human.
At the end of the day, there is nothing better than feeling good about being YOU and that’s something we should all have the opportunity to do. This is an activity regardless of age. I’m just getting started on this journey but I feel the changes everyday.
Age is just a number. Celebrate your achievement, celebrate you! If you are on the cusp of 30 don’t believe the hype! Make it what you want it to be.
And if you, like I, struggle with finding peace and getting out of your own way, may I suggest reading Jen Sincero, You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life
Here is a little motivation from the book:
“You are perfect. To think anything less is as pointless as a river thinking that it’s got too many curves or that it moves too slowly or that its rapids are too rapid. Says who? You’re on a journey with no defined beginning, middle or end. There are no wrong twists and turns. There is just being. And your job is to be as you as you can be. This is why you’re here. To shy away from who you truly are would leave the world you-less. You are the only you there is and ever will be. I repeat, you are the only you there is and ever will be. Do not deny the world its one and only chance to bask in your brilliance.”
I’m 30, happy and I will no longer deny the world its chance of basking in my brilliance! I encourage you all to do the same! Cheers 🥂
Everyday Slay 