As someone who struggles with bipolar disorder and other invisible illnesses like a hormone imbalance and phantom autoimmune issues, some days are harder than others. This past week I had one of those bad mental health days, like the real bad ones. The following photographs are in sequential order over a 6 hour period.
In this time frame I went from crying uncontrollably to smiling uncontrollably. The symptoms of my bipolar result in extreme highs and extreme lows in relatively short periods of time.
While the lows are bad I admittedly enjoy the highs. The high’s for me are just an exaggeration of my personality. Similar to how some people, including myself, become much more social and outgoing after ingesting things like alcohol. The mania of my bipolar is similar, as you can see in my video clip from the very end of that same night.
When these episodes happen not only does it make it feel impossible to get through the day, I become mentally and physically exhausted after these horrific roller coaster rides.
Having a bad day, or having an episode beyond your control can still be grounds for creating a good day. There are a few things that have helped me bounce back from one of these spirals and I wanted to share that with you all today.
The most important and often, the hardest thing to do is to stop what you are doing and take stock of your feelings. This will help you focus on identifying the feeling(s) causing you to behave differently . Trying to apply mindfulness.
This can be done for anything, regardless if you have mental illness, physical illness, invisible illness etc.
This is not just for use as a remedy for a condition, this can be used if you just find yourself in a bad mood, feeling irritable or are just feeling out of sorts. There doesn’t have to be anything other than you realizing that you are just not feeling yourself.
On my bad day this last week, I found myself struggling to focus at work. I kept fighting it and forcing myself to keep pushing until I broke down into uncontrollable tears. Now, the goal would be intervening before I get to the point where I break down into tears but this was a learning experience and is exactly my point! Being aware of your behavior and your emotions can help you to fight the good fight in the healthy and constructive way rather than pushing ones self to a breaking point. After 15 minuets of tears I realized that I was clearly not in a good space and I needed to do something to get me to a place where I was feeling better.
The second step after you realize something is not right is to take action! Do something to get out of whatever you are doing at that time. These can be small things like taking a walk, brushing your hair, changing your clothes, even just going to another room in your home or place of employment. Just do something, anything.
I decided that I would do some physical activity and forced myself into workout clothes and followed a 45 minute circuit training workout video.
Even after the physical activity I was still feeling pretty lousy so I decided I would get myself in the shower and get ready because I knew I had a hair appointment later that evening.
The act of self care, taking the shower and getting myself ready really started to put me into a better mood coupled with those endorphins really kicking in from my physical activity.
Last but not least, go be around people. If you have those people who make you feel safe and comfortable try and be around them, but if you don’t have people to go to, strangers will work. I’ll explain.
I am a introverted extrovert, INFJ, single person who lives in a rural area, works from home and has no social life. I do not have access to people I am close to or my family. This “being around people” thing has become something I have found myself trying my best to avoid, so this is the most difficult step for me. I have been a serial plan canceler, to the point that I have opted to stop accepting invitations and saying “No, thank you” to just about everything. It makes it especially harder when I’m feeling like an absolute crazy person who can’t control her emotions BUT socializing allows you to take a break from yourself and gets you engaging with other energies and emotions. This could be calling someone on the phone, going to hanging out with a friend or even just going to run errands and interacting with people in your community. If I would have let the day get the best of me, I would have canceled my hair appointment, but this time I did not. I was so glad I did not because my friend does my hair and we had a great time talking, making a big change with my hair and celebrating her new shop. After leaving my appointment I felt like a totally different person.
Bad days are worth that good fight to turn them into good days. There will be days we really do just need to act on our crazy, act on our emotions, listen to our bodies and stay in bed all day. Sometimes we do need to isolate. This message is not saying this is a surefire way to combat a bad day, sometimes the day(s) consumes us and that’s OK.
There’s no right or wrong answer and everybody’s situation is different but if you are looking to fight the good fight, taking these 3 steps might just help you the way it has helped me.
The three steps that helped me reclaim my bad day:
1. Stop- Check in with your feelings- Practice mindfulness
2. Take action – Do something, ANYTHING!
3. Go be around people! Socialize
Try IT! I dare you. These pics below show how quick this can work, this is only a 3 hour difference! I fought for that smile at 5:50 and I won it fair and square!
This whole life shit is hard, it can be ugly and painful. It can also change day by day, hour by hour, but remember that all of our experiences are valid. Comparison is a killer, be nice to yourself. No one has all their shit together and if they tell you differently they are lying! Fight for the smile you deserve. YOU GOT THIS!
Love and light❤
Everyday Slay 